Doing the most, with the least.

Dear Ladies,

So the other day I came across something called Vajazzling.  What is vajazzling you say?  Vajazzling is an aesthetic procedure where jewels, gems, rhinestones and/or glitter is glued to the pubic area. an aesthetic procedure....where...jewels...gems...rhinestones...and/OR the pubic area.


If this is something you have done, are considering and think is an awesome I dear, you need to wash yourself anew in the blood of the Lamb, cuz THIS shite HERE....

Say.  Lemme tell you something.  If you fricking think that something that is meant for denim outfits, dance costumes and House of Deadwrong apparel would look splendid on your pusswah then you are short exactly 3 chromosomes.  Our vaginas aren't something to accessorize!  We don't need to be adding extra crap to make it look pretty!  And who the hell thought glue around ya snatch was a great idea??  So you just want your lady business to be all Eau De Elmer's Glue, huh?

If you really are concerned with how your stuff looks, you can:
  1. Shave it.  As a long time member of the Shaved Is Best committee, this will just make your hot pocket look heavenly.
  2. Scrub it.  Did you know you can use a body scrub on the outside lips?  Keeps your skin soft and like brand new.
  3. Pray about it.  Cuz clearly you didn't get the memo that it's fine just the way it is.
Bottom line is this.  If your who-ha looks like a rant ova, over cooked pigs' foot, adding a dayum jewel to it won't help it.  Not one bit.  Self love is always a beautiful thing.  And besides, you won't win ANY point with the fellas.  If anything, they'd pack up and leave.  But if he happens to say it looks fabulous, then he just might be gay.  Just saying.  Just let the cooter be!

Love, Toni

Ms. Toni

Phasellus facilisis convallis metus, ut imperdiet augue auctor nec. Duis at velit id augue lobortis porta. Sed varius, enim accumsan aliquam tincidunt, tortor urna vulputate quam, eget finibus urna est in augue.

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are screened for appropriateness. Commenting is a privilege, not a right. Keep it civil, keep it light, keep it 100%. Anything less will be removed.